Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Week Eight: Désolé (Updated)


I'd like to start off by saying I'm sorry. I really do apologize. I've been trying to get everything sent, but Thanksgiving week was crazy here! I'll explain a little bit of that later. To add to it, the postal system is delayed because of the holiday, so anything I sent is probably still out there somewhere, they're just not moving fast enough! As part of Thanksgiving day, there was a huge humanitarian project that we worked on (that I'll explain later) and so I was in meetings during all of my free time last week because all district leaders were in charge of coordinating it and knowing how to train others.

It really kills me because I've been receiving some amazing letters this last week, and I don't want people to think I'm ignoring them! Last week I received the most incredible letter I've ever received. Vous savez qui vous etes (You know who you are) Then, when the weekend was over, I received a lot of sad ones. It made me wish I had done more. I was kind of in a funk because of it and wasn't sure where I stood or what to do. I felt like I failed and should have done more! (Which is a common feeling as a missionary) "I don't really know what to say anymore.." -> I don't want to pull a Prison Break move on this blog (because they're secret!), so I'll just say DON'T GIVE UP. Forgive me?

So, this experience taught me something. I try to learn from all my experiences the best I can! It taught me about having patience. Specifically with myself. I want to be able to do everything! Is that selfish? I guess what I mean is that I want to be able to be there for everyone, I want to help people! Sometimes I fear that if I don't spend enough time with each member of my district, that they'll feel like I'm avoiding them or that I don't like them (which is bonkers because all the members of my district are awesome). Sometimes I feel like if I don't write enough to people, that they'll forget about me or assume I'm forgetting about them or that I don't like them anymore (which is NEVER going to be the case bt dubs). Sometimes I feel like if I'm not the perfect missionary, that if I am teaching someone and they don't accept the Gospel, that it's my fault and it's on my shoulders (Which is not the case as long as I am striving to be the best I can be). I need to have more patience in myself, and remember that other people have their own agency. The members of my district can choose to trust me and believe me when I say I like them and that they're my friends, or they can choose to be offended that I spent 15 minutes talking to another elder. But that''s not my fault! And I shouldn't let that bother me! 

BUT, I can do whatever I can to help that elder know that I do care about them and that they're my friend. Just like if you are trying to help a friend or a family member make the right decision about something. If they ask for advice, and you give it to them, and you''re doing your very best to help them, then you're doing what is right! But you are NOT responsible for the decision that they end up making. That is THEIR decision. If the decision ends up going badly for them and they blame you for it, brush it off and know that you aren't responsible. Every person has to make their own decisions! Everyone has their "libre artbritre" (Agency), so you can't force anyone to make a decision, they have to make it on their own.

I''ll be putting up some scriptures (I''m a missionary haha) a little later, but I have to run to lunch first and throw some laundry in! I promise I''ll be back to finish this! I''ll always come back, ca va? (okay?)
I'm back! Alright, so back to what I was saying. 2 Nephi 10:23 says "Therefore, cheer up your hearts, and remember that ye are free to act for yourselves" C'est la vérité! (That's the truth!) Also remember that others are free to act for themselves too. So don't beat yourself up about decisions that other people make and blame yourself for it (or let others blame you). Just think and pray about how you can help them. Be there for them when they need you.

That was quite the confusing train of thoughts...sorry! Quick summary: Sometimes it's hard when you feel like you can't help people or be there for them, but you need to be patient with yourself and just keep doing your best and they will understand. And if they don't, Heavenly Father will. And don't let the blame of others get you down. Pray to Heavenly Father and ask Him what is right, because He knows and He can tell you. (Study the scriptures, because I know you know the power that's in them! :) ) So don't ever get down on yourself if you feel like you can't do it all! I'll try to do the same, because I do get down on myself about it sometimes. Wanna make a goal together? Alright, sounds like a deal :) Thank you for always inspiring me to be better!

Just a side note, SERIOUSLY, I never have too much to read. I love every single letter that I get! Whether happy or sad, because I want to really know how people are doing, not just key points of their lives! Share anything and everything you feel comfortable sharing with me :) I know I can't be "there" physically, but I can do everything I can to help! I'll try my best! I've been called to help people for the next two years, so it's my job! :) Sometimes I have a lot to write, but hey, I'll do what I can to deal with it haha just don't stop writing because you think I need less to read. That's the opposite! I love letters :) Also, if anyone wants me to write a letter to a friend they have who could relate to me or needs a pick me up, let me know! I'd be glad to. I might already have some thoughts haha

So, Thanksgiving! It was awesome. Let's see. It started off with a little morning devotional by Elder Holland and his family, then we had a....wait whaaaaaaat?! Elder Holland? Oh yeah, he came to the MTC with his family and put on a program for us haha it was awesome! Here are some key points from his talk, because I wrote too much to share it all!

-Mothers are magical
-We should all be grateful for being born when we were born.
-You have to always at least think you're gonna win!
-All ancient prophets knew they were going to lose, because they knew what was going to happen, but we know that we're going to win!
-We need to stiffen our backs and square our shoulders and get ready to tackle anything that comes our way!
-God knows our names. He helps us individually. He knows our fears, and our tears.
-Do everything that you can, so that maybe just for a second, He doesnt have to be in the wine-vat alone.

It was an incredible devotional! His grandchildren sang and some bore their testimonies, and Elder Holland said to tell our families that he was going to adopt all of us, and to let our families know haha. Don't worry, it was just for the day!

After that, we had Thanksgiving dinner and then started on the Humanitarian project! The MTC put together 4500 Health Kits and 4200 Education Kits to be sent to Mali, Africa. It was awesome! And very similar to my Eagle Project haha but it went smoothly and quickly! It was great to see how people can change lives from anywhere. Anyone could do stuff like this!

Then that night, they handed out popcorn and we watched "17 Miracles". Well sheesh, I already missed my family and my friends on Thanksgiving, and then they bring out a tear jerker movie?! Well, I think we all know how that ended for me. Thank goodness the lights were off.

It was a quite a day! And now, for some news. 6 days. That's how many I have left in this country. I leave December 3 (Next Monday) at 1:30 pm from the MTC, to get on a flight at 5:30 that flies straight to Paris. It's crazy! So the next email you get from me will be from France! Crazy........I'm still wrapping my head around it. Keep your eyes out for letters in the mail, because I'll be sending a bunch before I leave!

I hope you enjoyed this little blog entry haha and that you understood what I was trying to say. If not, then I'm sorry, and I'll make it up to you :) I promise!
Keep being all that Heavenly Father knows you can be!

A la prochaine!

Elder Daniel Anderson

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